Click the link above to see our Christmas letter for 2011… written from Leah’s perspective.
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The last job update I posted was when I didn’t get hired at one, but since then I have started working full time. I like the job so far. Good place, good people, good work, etc. The company specializes in creating customized training and user manuals for various companies in the area. Tricia asked me the other day if this job was fulfilling for me, which lead me down some different paths of thought.
I think if you’d described my current job to me 10 years ago and that this is what I’d be doing, I’d say no, that doesn’t sound very fulfilling. Most likely by the age of 25 I will be a well known author, writing regularly for some major publication, or something like that. Yet here I am at 25 (26 actually) and I’d have to say yes, this job is fulfilling. So who’s wrong? The Stephen of 2000 or the Stephen of 2011? Or rather, what’s changed?
I’ve been surprised over the years that as I talk to people who have more fulfilling jobs (from my perspective) that in many ways to them it’s still just a job. I recently talked to a college professor who I admired during my time at Malone. He likes his job and the people he works with, but when I talk to him he cares much more about his family and other things before he talks about his job. I talk to my brother who is in the military and literally saves people’s lives, and he expressed that while he likes his job, for him it’s still more about having a family, supporting a home life, etc. This isn’t an original thought, but the satisfaction people seem to take from their lives stems much more from a good home life than a super incredible professional life. They complement each other to a degree, but overall home seems to trump work. This is something I’ve known, but as my life experiences have reinforced this notion it has helped me become more content with who I am and the place I work.
My values have definitely shifted since 2000. Having kids and experiencing the joy of a family will do that. That shifting though wasn’t easy, and it’s still difficult at times. Especially in college I’d have some really down days where I felt like my life wasn’t going to amount to anything, and at that point “amounting to something” meant impacting something in professional world or becoming known for something. Those goals aren’t bad, but they are ultimately frustrating because so much is outside of my control. The goals I can control are knowing that I directly and profoundly impact my wife and two children everyday of my life. That means something. Those 3 people are forever changed because of me, and if I can make a positive impact on them, that feels like amounting to something.
Part of the problem stems how high school students are treated in my opinion. They’re told to dream of something then go and do it, find what your passionate about and you’ll never have to work, and so it goes. The American Dream leaves little room for mediocrity, yet mediocrity is where 90% of us end up. This leaves 90% of us feeling like disappointments and failures in some way. Is that what’s really best?
This a process that will continue for me. I still have dreams of “making it big” without having any clue of what that means. For now making it big means playing Knock Down Daddy with Brennan every night. And that is something I am passionate about.
A month ago I got a phone call for a random job I applied for online. I’ve applied to probably 50 jobs online over the past year and this was the first time I’d had a call back. Turns out I was a really good match, and two weeks later I had a 3 hour interview with two managers, some potential co-workers, and took a one hour writing test. The position was Communications Representative and the job description was nearly identical to what I was doing as a contractor at the beginning of this year. My skill set was a perfect fit for the job, and the interviews all went really well. It felt like if I was ever going to get a job, this would be it.
Last Friday I received an email stating “Unfortunately, we are unable to extend further consideration to you regarding this opportunity,” which is a kind of hilarious way of saying “You didn’t get the job.” Although I’ve gone through some potential jobs and even a couple interviews the past year, this one was particularly crushing for a few reasons. First, as I mentioned, I was a perfect fit as far as I could tell. I possessed all the skills that they wanted, I had previous experience working in a large corporation, and I was available as soon as they would need me. By not getting the job, I’m left thinking “if not this, then what will I ever be able to get?” Granted, I haven’t been applying to McDonald’s, but as far as this caliber of job I continually come up empty.
So I’m bumming a bit, but it’s also presented me with a spiritual challenge. God tells us not to worry, not to be anxious in anything, etc. yet I find myself doing that anyway. The most reassuring promise for me though during this time is the verse in 1 Corinthians 10:13: “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” I also apply this verse to mean he will never put us in a situation (or in my case phase of life) beyond what I can handle. This is a promise. From God. Not simply a wish or a hope, but a certainty He tells us and something to rely. So while I think the best situation I need for my life is a full time job with benefits, etc., the fact that I don’t have that tells me God knows I can handle doing work as a contractor for the immediate future at least. Now if a job opens up tomorrow obviously I’d take it, but in the meantime I have to rest and be confident that God has put me in a situation — even if I’ve been without a steady job for a year now — I can handle.
What a crazy good summer. Now I’m back in Canton, just remembering everything we did over the past two months. In summary: Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha; stumbling into Layton Utah at 2 am; visit to Antelope Island with hero Brennan; the illogically strange Latter Day Saints; Starkeys, Malakai, and San Francisco; Red red Bryce Canyon; Vegas not so great; Cirque du Soleil great; old timey San Diego and the zoo; Santa Monica pier and a visit to cousin Jenn in Los Angeles; the batmobile!; Vegas – Salt Lake – visit from the parents then 30 hours home. Oh, quick stop in Kansas City on the way back to see bro Andrew and wife.
Two months in a nutshell. As I write this I feel melancholy knowing this all is behind me, but thankful for the opportunity. I mean, what an experience!
Perhaps the greatest aspect of the summer though wasn’t beautiful scenery or amazing acrobatics. Perhaps the best part was simply being a part of Phil, Erin, and Hadassah’s lives for a while. Phil and I drove to Vegas together and we talked the whole way there. 7 hours. In a car. Just yakking away. Not many people on the planet I can do that with and enjoy the entire conversation. Erin showed me the flexibility and strength it requires to be a full time employee, wife, and mother. Also the patience it requires to be married to someone like Phil. :-)
And finally Hadassah. She won’t remember this summer out side of created memories from pictures someday. She’s only 2 1/2, but I won’t forget it. I had time with her daily to just be her Uncle Stephen, to help her and Brennan play together, to be a consistent presence in her life. I’m not sure I’ll get that opportunity ever again, and certainly not with her as a young child. Seeing her and Brennan play together was magical, like experiencing those priceless times of life where God reaches down and says, “See, this is why it’s worth it.” Sure, some days B and Hadassah were at each others’ throats — especially if the toy car out back was at stake — but seeing young cousins play together is special.
Life rolls on here in Canton as though I never left. Now that I’m back it feels like maybe the past couple of months were a mirage of some kind as I readily reassume all the typical ways of life on Werstler Avenue. Good bye Summer of 2010. I hope to have a summer like you again someday, but I don’t anticipate that happening anytime soon. Until then, so long and thanks for all the fish!
Less catchy than Tolkien’s opening line but more applicable to our travels.
We left Vegas and drove in the desert heat to San Diego. One aspect of this trip that has made it, uh, “unique” is our conditioning is broken in the Honda. Normally not a huge deal on 20 minute trips in Ohio weather, when driving 6 hours in 110 degree weather not having AC becomes much more glaring especially for an 18 month old and a 3 month pregnant lady.
We did arrive in San Diego sans any heat stroke. We checked into a Days Inn — a Days Inn that only had hot water from the faucets which added salt to a wound — then headed to the SD beach. Saw surfers, fishermen, a dog beach, and walked onto a pier. We then walked through old historic San Diego, a spot I’d highly recommend to relax and chill for a bit.
Visited the Zoo the next day which I already wrote about. Drove up to Los Angeles and went to the Santa Monica Pier with carousel and mass traffic and all. Visited Pepperdine after driving on the Pacific Coast Highway — a beautiful road but apparently we weren’t the only one savvy to it as we hit some pretty major traffic.
In general LA traffic is always bad no matter what. It’s a strange place to drive around because anytime I’m going the speed limit I feel like I’m beating the system. “Ha ha Los Angeles! I’ve figured out your road systems!” Then I’d hit traffic for no apparent reason and be slowed for the next 20 minutes. And the traffic wasn’t caused by anything other than too many people tried to be on the road at the same time. No accident. No Godzilla siting. Just too many people.
We did a ton of stuff in LA. Visited cousin Jenn and her adorable kids Zion and Grace. Visited the Getty Center where Brennan face planted into the concrete and busted open his lower lip. A visit to the ER and five hours later he had three stitches pulling the skins flaps back together. Saw a taping of Last Comic Standing, absolutely hilarious and the tickets were free! Went to Universal Citywalk and downtown Hollywood where the new Angelina Jolie movie, Salt, was having its state side premier at the Kodak Theater. On our final day there we toured NBC and Warner Bros. The WB tour was great. Maybe my favorite part of LA. It’s a bit pricey but worth the price of admission for sure. Visited Hannah Kelley as we left on our way back to Vegas.
Our solution for not having AC was to do night driving, so we drove from 10 pm to 2 am back to Vegas, crashed there for the day, then drove back to Salt Lake City from midnight to 7 am. We were tired and wrecked when we got back but avoided the massive heat. We survived, saw things we’ll probably never to get see again, and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. Great trip. Great trip.
We started in Las Vegas a few weeks ago. Las Vegas is hot. Incredibly hot. As in “why did we visit this place when other locations exist” hot. We basically couldn’t go outside during the day without bursting into flames. Literally. OK, maybe not literally, but the place is somewhere between a blow dryer and hell on both a temperature and ethical level.
The downtown is quite aptly named as Sin City. It’s quite a strange place. It struck me as a modern day equivalent of Babylon or Ancient Rome or something, a city where all the decadence and extravagance of a society are on display. A fun place to visit but I don’t think I could be downtown for more than a few days. It just exists so far outside the realm of what I consider moral and ethical that it makes me uneasy deep down when being there.
Men hand out pictures of naked women on the corners–and not like “mostly naked” or in a bikini or something, these are fully naked pictures. Trucks drive by with giant billboards of women. Signs advertise “women direct to your door” with a phone number, a sickening concept that equates ordering a woman with the same you’d order tickets on the phone. The list could go on and on, but the place challenges decency and modesty to its core.
With all that being said, there are ways to have a good time there that don’t involve sex, alcohol, and gambling, they’re just not as readily apparent. We did go see Cirque du Soleil: Mystere, which totally rocked my socks. Absolutely amazing. Probably my favorite show. We also got see Penn & Teller, a show that made you feel like an insider in the world of magic but then showed how little you know by doing something totally crazy. Those shows were highly entertaining and unique (albeit expensive). We also got to randomly see a taping of the show “Shaq Vs” where Shaquille O’Neal boxed 5’9” Shane Mosley.
I was glad to get the chance to visit Vegas, but I won’t be going back anytime soon. At least not in the summer. The place is too hot, the attractions too seedy, and the lifestyle too expensive. Viva Las Vegas? No thanks. The midwest is good with me.
How about you, you, you.
Visited the world renowned San Diego Zoo (I feel like a tool just writing “world renowned”). It was quite cool but it didn’t live up to all the hype. I mean, a zoo is still a zoo. Animals in fenced in areas lying around with not much to do all day. Plus I think other zoos have caught up to San Diego’s at this point. The Omaha Zoo was actually better in my opinion. Cleveland’s Zoo also has some unique aspects to it that SD’s lacked.
My main two points of contention is the zoo is laid out poorly and no aquarium. I mean, what top tier zoo has no aquarium these days? I guess Sea World down the street embargoes all the sea life leaving the zoo with very little. Anyway, the first portion of the zoo we visited, the monkey/tiger/hippo trails is laid out the California freeway system — poorly and with no sense of direction. The paths literally look like squiggles or meandering rivers on the map. The paths are also all covered by trees and foliage making it impossible to find your bearings based on a point of reference (other than “Hey, didn’t we pass the red butt monkey before?”). The paths criss cross, go up and over each other, and at one point we encountered an elevator which felt like walking up to an ATM in the middle of the Amazon Rain Forest. No, I don’t remember my PIN.
The rest of the zoo improved from there though. The hippopotamusesesess were awesome. Fat fat fatty sea monsters pressed up against the glass with giant teeth hanging out. The coolest animals of the day were the elephants though mainly because they fed them right as we were showing up. They threw their food into the water and one of the elephants just dove right in. How cool is that? I don’t think I’ve ever seen an elephant swim like that before. Also, seeing an elephant emerging from the water is like looking at an alien. Giving birth.
We were able to see almost all of the animals on foot in about 5 hours. The afternoon/evening was spent sitting and watching some shows, much to Tricia’s delight. Lots of walking + 80 degree weather + animal dung + pregnancy = some unhappy and exhausting times. But she did well overall.
The first show was “Sea Lions Rock!” which featured a sea lion on bass (that’s fish joke…). It actually featured a fun sea lion show along with an arctic wolf, New Guinea singing dog (she looked like Sable), a giant owl, and some other little creatures too. The second show featured all birds including a talking parrot, beautfiul Macaus, and this bird that slams little rodents into the ground to kill them. The slamming bird (not its ornithological name) was hilarious cause it kept slamming this little rubber lizard over and over against rocks and stuff. Then Brennan started nodding his head up and down just like the bird was doing. He’s a quick learner.
That’s a quick review. The zoo was great. We were there for 10 hours and never felt bored. While we saw most of the zoo, if we took our time we could probably do a whole nother day there with there being so much to see. The shows helped us relax and felt unique to the San Diego Zoo (Omaha and Cleveland don’t offer shows as far as I know). Overall great trip to San Diego as we got to visit some beaches last night along with walking around Old Historic downtown and driving around the modern present downtown (and seeing a giant Navy aircraft carrier with lots of fighters on it). Buh bye!
About to finish our week long stay here in hot Las Vegas, Nevada. We’ve gone boating a couple of times on Lake Mead and visited the main strip downtown as well. Downtown Vegas is a strange place. It strikes me as a modern day equivalent of Babylon or Ancient Rome or something, a city where all the decadence and extravagance of a society are on display. I enjoyed walking around and seeing the sights but felt exhausted by the end partially due to the heat (we’re in a desert!) and partially due to the constant bombardment of the senses. A fun place to visit but I don’t think I could be downtown for more than a few days. So much about the city seems to try and tear down any sense of morality.
Men stand on corners passing out cards of naked women, giant billboards flash with videos of strippers, and trucks drive by with giant billboards advertising just about anything. It’s definitely possible to visit the city and have a wholesome experiences, but the opportunity to indulge other desires is more prevalent.
The two coolest things we got to do by far were Phil and I sat in on a taping of the television “Shaq Vs.” where Shaquille O’Neal takes on different random athletes. So we got to see Shaq (7’1”) fight Shane Mosley (5’9”). It was a very entertaining bout. The heights were so different the whole thing was somewhat comical, but the fight was actually decent too as both of them went after each other at different points. Very fun to watch.
The second thing was going to see Cirque du Soleil: Mystere. Probably the best show I’ve ever seen, although it’s difficult to compare it to musicals because it’s just a totally different genre. The show balanced strength, beauty, and comedy with ridiculous acrobatic feats, gorgeous dance numbers, and hilarious clowns. The whole show was entertaining and kept me making me think “They’re not going to.. yep, that guy is doing a handstand on that guys feet while he’s doing a handstand.” It was awesome.
So Las Vegas. A fun place to visit for a few days but not for weeks at a time. Not to mention the heat feels like a sucker punch every time I step out the door. The downtown is more temptation than temperance, more seduction than sanity. I’ll stick with Midwest roots anytime.
This was my first visit to any area like this although the Grand Canyon has a similar climate. Drove there Friday morning and checked into Sunset Campground. The first thing we noticed–or rather Brennan was quick to show us–was the amount of dust everywhere. Brennan immediately began picking up the dust and throwing it everywhere including his own face. This led to eye rubbing, which led to eye crying, which led to the ongoing battle of the weekend of keeping him out the dirt. This proved to be impossible as the dust was constantly at his feet whereas we could not constantly be watching him. Eventually we gave up and by the time we left on Sunday we were all covered in a thick layer of Utah desert grime.
Anyway, despite the dust, the trip was great. Bryce Canyon is truly a unique and staggering place. Red crusted archways with crag laced cliff faces and precarious stony spires pepper the landscape. We learned about hoodoos (the official name of those precarious stony spires) while going on multiple hikes up, down, in, and out of the canyon. I carried B with me on my back during the hikes which took its toll on my shoulders. We never did one longer than 3 miles but that was still plenty far.
We drove to all the look out points as well which offered breathtaking views (is breathtaking good by the way? The last time I remember my breath being taken away was when I got rocked in the stomach) for the simple admission price of driving to them. Usually a great view requires miles of hiking but not here. Bryce offers the truly American experience of driving up to a spot, taking five steps, snapping a bunch of pictures, then burning more oil on to the next spot. U-S-A!
And if you want to sound like a real know it all (see: d-bag), next time you’re in a conversation tell everyone Bryce Canyon is not an actual canyon. Here’s how to say it while winning the maximum amount of friends: “Yes, see, mm hm, Bryce Canyon is not a true canyon because it was not formed by running water. By definition a canyon must have a river at its source, meaning Bryce cannot be since it was and continues to be formed by thawing ice and winds during the winter months. But you probably already knew that, right? That’s pretty common information that I think we all know.” They’ll be sure to call you to hang out.
Camping was fun and a quite literal down and dirty experience. Made campfires, read books, slept in a tent, did all the usual camping stuff except establishing a frisbee golf course that targeted other people’s tents and campers (what’s that? That’s not a usual typical camping experience? Moving on…). That was most of the trip, and since the scenery defies description I’ll just post a couple of pictures instead of trying to write fruitless adjectives. (“The canyon walls were neat.” “I liked how swell the scenery was.”) Good times. Good times.
